First big break

 So everything was set up and I was flown to Miami near the end of 2010.  I gotta tell ya I was so nervous I couldn't eat from about 3 days leading up to it and the few days I was there. I think I lost 7 pound in those 5 days. I was doing solo shoots with videos to match.. I hadn't done videos yet. Talk about NERVOUS. To top it off I had a bad cold that trip and I couldn't hear right and I was coughing alot..so I didn't sleep well at all on top of all that. Anyway, that next day at shooting was SO much fun. I did not realize how much I would LOVE having my hair and makeup professionally done. I looked like a star..haha. I was completely in awe at the lights,  and the studio, the "real" photographer (who was great at directing me . I SO needed direction). I remember during my first shoot he actually told me I'm really good and it looks very natural. I was flattered. I did 3 shoots all ended up with me playing with a dildo. One of those shoots is actually in a magazine now :). There was so much adrenaline mixed with the pure joy of just being there and excitement from my actual first REAL shoot, that  the day flew by. I couldn't believe it when it was over. I was rushed out of there pretty fast because I had to catch a plane home that same day. Whew, what a time I had.

  When I got home I had a hard time adjusting back to my real life. I got really depressed for a while and was crying about nothing and everything. I wanted to go back. I wanted to live THAT life. Everything about it was awesome. I was treated like a star at the hotel. The whole "model" treatment at the shoot was great too and I wanted it all back. I was not happy being at home back in my hum-drum life raising my family. I got over it in a few weeks, but it was hard. When my first shoot came out on their website I was overcome. I had such a mix of emotion it was like being back at the shoot again. What if no one liked it? What if I made a fool out of myself being so inexperienced and all? Could I handle the criticism? Well apparently, everyone who commented loved it. I was a hit! I made it to the number one spot and stayed there for a few weeks. After being in the top 5 for a few months I'm now in the top 20 and not really moving out of it. I think it goes up and down whenever shoots are posted. So everytime I have one posted, my rank will change again.