Yes, I do porn. Yes, it is having sex with other men with cameras rolling. Being in porn does NOT = being a prostitute. Let me say this, Porn stars are paid to ACT; prostitutes are paid for sex. We engage in sexual activities as part of the role we are playing. That doesn't count as "sex for hire". It is not prostitution for the fact that fees aren't paid for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification, they are paid for the ACTING. Prostitution is generally understood as the trading of sex for money, while pornography involves the customer of an adult film paying money to watch other people have sex with each other, while receiving no sexual favors himself in return. The process of filming and distributing pornography is considered protected speech, under the Supreme Court's First Amendment precedents as long as a work, taken as a whole, has "serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value". Therefor, it being an expression of an art, it is protected under the First Amendment.
Okay, so with all that being said, I am NOT available for you to hire me to have sex with you. THAT is in fact prostitution. If you want to hire me to ACT like i'm having sex with you, but no kind of sex actually happens, I can do that. But you can't hire me to have sex with you and say "I'll record us".. because you're still paying me to have sex with you. So it doesn't make it any better.
I can't tell you how irritated I am by guys messaging me asking how much for a night with me. It makes me wish I could reach through the screen and smack some sense into them. Seriously, you cannot pay me enough to be involved with prostitution. I am not an Escort, I am not a prostitute and I am not just some random whore that you can have sex with just because I do porn. Actually the fact that I am a pornstar SHOULD make you realize that I am absolutely untouchable. Would you email Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba and ask them "how much?" I think not.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The ever awaited Hardcore
So end of spring 2011, I was flown back to Miami to shoot with Company #2 for my first hardcore. Now let me say first, I LOVE this company. The people are always SO nice and it's like a little family. They treat me like a member of the "clan" and not like just another model there to shoot. I love shooting for them.
When I got there it was pretty late and all I did was go to the hotel and go to sleep. But the next morning I woke up and didn't have butterflies, I had full grown birds flying around my stomach. I didn't know what I was going to do. I mean obviously go through with it, but how?..lol. See, the day before I flew out I started my period. This is going to give away exactly who I am to about 3 people..lol, but ya know, it happens! How was I going to shoot porn with all that mess going on? Their solution: Makeup sponges. INGENIOUS! Just stuff one up there and I was able to do a still and video and then change it at every hair and makeup touch up. Now I won't go into how horribly difficult it was to take the things out. I was nearly reduced to tears a few times. Luckily there was an amazing guy (who happen to be the photographer) and he took one ..well a few.. for the team and helped me when I was at my wits end with those damned sponges. That could not have been pleasant for him and I will forever owe him big time.
Well I did a solo shoot first. I shot outside in almost plain view of regular people..lol. It was absolutely exhilarating. I love the idea of being watched by people who aren't supposed to be watching. That was awesome.
So getting touched up after that for my first hardcore EVER, the male model came in. He was pretty cute :) Blond hair, blue eyes, definitely works out.. I was pleasantly surprised. He was very understanding as well. He was a perfect choice for my first boy/girl. He basically walked me through what we would be doing, telling me exactly how it would go. He was sweet and charming in real life and turned into this dirty animal when the camera starting rolling..lol. I was kinda surprised..haha. But it was cool, after all I'm shooting porn.
He was bigger than I'm used to. I mean my husband isn't tiny or anything, definitely satisfies me. But this guy was longer. It was very nice and I was put in positions I don't usually get to try at home. He hurt me a little bit here and there and I wonder if it'll be apparent in the video.. that'll be interesting to see.
That first one was good and in the shower when it was over, I decided I am much happier doing hardcore than I ever was doing solos. I think I'll be doing hardcore from here on out :)
The second guy that was kind of a different story. See, he was black. I had never been with a black guy before even in my real life, and I was kinda nervous. I mean you hear things, ya know. Black guys are supposed to hung like horses and aggressive and all that. I was nervous..lol.
Well when he got there he didn't look too intimidating. He had an average sized body, he wasn't overly tall and he didn't have anything hanging out of his shorts..LOL ( yes I checked). Anyway, I was kinda shocked when he sat at the table and rolled out a joint right in front of everyone. (Probably shouldn't be talking about that..haha) It kinda put me off a little, I'd never been with a guy who had to be high to be with me...Well after he smoked his doobie, we were ready for our thing.
When we finally got into it, I was very pleasantly surprised to see him. He was not hung like a horse (he was big, don't get me wrong) and he proved to be quite gentle. He took it very easy on me and it ended up being quite pleasant; except every time he exhaled I was enveloped in a cloud of stinky weed aftertaste-smell... blech.
After it was over it was pretty late. I was taken to get some dinner and to the hotel and had time to eat and sleep a few hours before I had to be up at 3am to go to the airport. :( I wished I had been able to stay longer, but there was a communication error and I guess I told him I needed to be home early.. Oh well.. next time I'll be clearer.
Nothing to do with porn, but on the plane home I sat by this 22 yr old guy. He was pretty cute. He was so funny because he was looking at the sky mall magazine and kept pointing things out to me but not moving the magazine close enough for me to see it. So I would lean over and look and he would rub his arm all over my boob..LOL! He did it so nonchalantly like I wasn't gonna know what was going on, but I just let him do it. I would look at hhim and smile as to say "I'm not stupid, I know what you're doing" and he paid no attention and just kept copping a feel..hahaha.
Well when I got home I got the saddness again. I was snippy to my husband and had no patience for my kiddos. I wanted to go back to Fl and just shoot. I love shooting. It was only a few days and I was back to normal. :)
When I got there it was pretty late and all I did was go to the hotel and go to sleep. But the next morning I woke up and didn't have butterflies, I had full grown birds flying around my stomach. I didn't know what I was going to do. I mean obviously go through with it, but how?..lol. See, the day before I flew out I started my period. This is going to give away exactly who I am to about 3 people..lol, but ya know, it happens! How was I going to shoot porn with all that mess going on? Their solution: Makeup sponges. INGENIOUS! Just stuff one up there and I was able to do a still and video and then change it at every hair and makeup touch up. Now I won't go into how horribly difficult it was to take the things out. I was nearly reduced to tears a few times. Luckily there was an amazing guy (who happen to be the photographer) and he took one ..well a few.. for the team and helped me when I was at my wits end with those damned sponges. That could not have been pleasant for him and I will forever owe him big time.
Well I did a solo shoot first. I shot outside in almost plain view of regular people..lol. It was absolutely exhilarating. I love the idea of being watched by people who aren't supposed to be watching. That was awesome.
So getting touched up after that for my first hardcore EVER, the male model came in. He was pretty cute :) Blond hair, blue eyes, definitely works out.. I was pleasantly surprised. He was very understanding as well. He was a perfect choice for my first boy/girl. He basically walked me through what we would be doing, telling me exactly how it would go. He was sweet and charming in real life and turned into this dirty animal when the camera starting rolling..lol. I was kinda surprised..haha. But it was cool, after all I'm shooting porn.
He was bigger than I'm used to. I mean my husband isn't tiny or anything, definitely satisfies me. But this guy was longer. It was very nice and I was put in positions I don't usually get to try at home. He hurt me a little bit here and there and I wonder if it'll be apparent in the video.. that'll be interesting to see.
That first one was good and in the shower when it was over, I decided I am much happier doing hardcore than I ever was doing solos. I think I'll be doing hardcore from here on out :)
The second guy that was kind of a different story. See, he was black. I had never been with a black guy before even in my real life, and I was kinda nervous. I mean you hear things, ya know. Black guys are supposed to hung like horses and aggressive and all that. I was nervous..lol.
Well when he got there he didn't look too intimidating. He had an average sized body, he wasn't overly tall and he didn't have anything hanging out of his shorts..LOL ( yes I checked). Anyway, I was kinda shocked when he sat at the table and rolled out a joint right in front of everyone. (Probably shouldn't be talking about that..haha) It kinda put me off a little, I'd never been with a guy who had to be high to be with me...Well after he smoked his doobie, we were ready for our thing.
When we finally got into it, I was very pleasantly surprised to see him. He was not hung like a horse (he was big, don't get me wrong) and he proved to be quite gentle. He took it very easy on me and it ended up being quite pleasant; except every time he exhaled I was enveloped in a cloud of stinky weed aftertaste-smell... blech.
After it was over it was pretty late. I was taken to get some dinner and to the hotel and had time to eat and sleep a few hours before I had to be up at 3am to go to the airport. :( I wished I had been able to stay longer, but there was a communication error and I guess I told him I needed to be home early.. Oh well.. next time I'll be clearer.
Nothing to do with porn, but on the plane home I sat by this 22 yr old guy. He was pretty cute. He was so funny because he was looking at the sky mall magazine and kept pointing things out to me but not moving the magazine close enough for me to see it. So I would lean over and look and he would rub his arm all over my boob..LOL! He did it so nonchalantly like I wasn't gonna know what was going on, but I just let him do it. I would look at hhim and smile as to say "I'm not stupid, I know what you're doing" and he paid no attention and just kept copping a feel..hahaha.
Well when I got home I got the saddness again. I was snippy to my husband and had no patience for my kiddos. I wanted to go back to Fl and just shoot. I love shooting. It was only a few days and I was back to normal. :)
The career changing decision
When I got home from my second shoot with Company #1, I had a discussion with my husband about possibly moving to hardcore. He was actually very willing to go ahead and let me try it out. Of course with the conditions that he can always change his mind. I don't think he will change it but it made him feel better about it to know that he could. So when offer #2 from company #2 was placed, it was time to include some hardcore :) I was N.E.R.V.O.U.S.
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